Page created 7 Mar 2003 by AnonymousPoster , last modified 7 Mar 2003 by AnonymousPoster
If you have something very difficult to say, but need to unburden yourself this is the entree to do it in. The hope of the creators of this entree is that those posting can relieve undo pressure, stress, guilt, and/or anxiety from their lives and move on.
In order to provide secrecy for the identity of those who wish to post anonymously, I have been granted special privilege to create this new user name which can be used by anyone wishing to post confidentially. The user name is AnonymousPoster and the passphrase is simply passphrase. We are all responsible adults here, and the management of the Tastytronic Diner asks that this new user name and password not be abused or altered in any way. Abuse of the AnonymousPoster user name will result in its deletion.
If you are a brave soul and wish to post in your own user name, feel free to do so. This is not an entree to ridicule or judge others, but to support those who have something to get off their chest. Thank you.
I'm trying to come up with something good to confess, because I like the idea of this entree...
there won't be any tracing of IP addresses will there?
I promise not to use any means of trying to "figure out" who posted here. I never really look at those logs anyway, which are separate from the referral logs. In addition, just seeing the IP address that accessed this entree is not a dead giveaway by any means; I'd have to compare other stuff in the logs to match things up -- in short, I couldn't discover who posted here "by accident" -- and you'd just have to trust me that I wouldn't use my super powers for evil. Furthermore, normal users on flynn do not have the ability to read those logs.I wasn't going to mention this, because I figured that most people wouldn't think of it, and now maybe more people are scared of using this entree than before.
But no, there will be no tracing of IP addresses.
I liked happiness...hah, ok, really, i haven't seen it. really.
Anyway, I just wanted to say, and maybe this is obvious, but if you do decide to post in here as AnonymousPoster, please, please, please, please, please make sure that you logged out of your regular account and logged in as AnonymousPoster FIRST. Go back to the main page and reload it and make sure that it says, "Hello, AnonymousPoster! You are logged in and can post!" etc.
Because if you post as yourself, and I don't notice it in time, it will be out there for everyone to see.
Still, I think this is a great idea for an entree.
pedro would it be worth adjusting things so that this would actually only accept posts from AnonymousPoster?
It'd be much more than a tweak. Another possibility would be to just use AnonymousPoster's diary for the "confessional" area... that's the only place that AnonymousPoster alone has access to.
sorry for the scare. i guess i really didn't think you would check out IP addresses or anything. i do think its a good idea for an entree. then again, just using the anonymousposter diary could work as well. and make AnonymousPoster uncertified, that way they can't post anywhere else.
I'd like to confess that I created this entree. My eyes went all big when I noticed that we had some posts on here. It is very experimental to be sure, and it seems that so far the posts are of the questioning nature. I ran the idea by Pedro before jumping the gun on this one. It was important to me to have you with me on this, Pedro.My desire was to let us all share things that perhaps we didn't feel comfortable sharing in our diaries. My hope is that in time we will get the hang of what it's like to post under the AnonymousPoster name, AND remember to log back in to your own account afterwards for other posts. Forgetting such things could be bad for both yourself, and poor Pedro -- who, by the way, only uses his powers for good.
Well, I'm game for whatever you folks want to do... I just really don't want an accident where someone spills some private beans to the whole world as themselves. That would be a real downer.
Private Beans, reporting. SIR!!
sorry, this is a serious entree, and i hope it works out well.
i have a strange fascination with breasts as of late, my own as well as others'. wether that makes me bisexual or not, i don't know. i have been taking my shirt off in public quite a bit. i guess i love the attention it garners me. if my so called boyfriend knew about this, i wonder what he'd think of me. whatever, i'd find someone else.since we're being honest in this thing, i'll admit that i loathe the people i live with. i know it's not nice, or the right thing to say, but i really can't stand them. they just do everything they can to fucking piss me off.
I have a crush on this guy...I have known him for a while, and I haven't been able to do a thing about. He's super cute...and super nice, I just never had the huevos to say anything. He has been a dirty little secret in the back of my mind for the past 3 years. Isn't scary to know that someone who never even passes through your mind, thinks of you almost everyday.
but, i really don't have much to hide. at least not right now. i just wanted to comment on the fact that i can't thinkof anything to confess that i wouldn't be willing to confess under my own log-in name. is that weird? or am i REALLY hiding something?
Here I am posting as me...I usually try to not hide things either. I always think...if I feel something that is real and part of me why deny it and pretend it is not...that's so puritan...But at the same time, people need that anonimity, I can understand...
Have you tried talking to this guy? I know it sounds cliche', but you really don't know what may happen until you put yourself out there. Easier said than done, though. I know.
I have driven after drinking when I shouldnt have numerous times. I have also gotten in cars that other people were driving who I knew were not at a safe level of sobriety.
I've done some stupid things....I've stolen passwords off the internet in order to download stuff I deserve to have: fonts, nice photos, etc. During that week, I was constantly looking over my shoulder hoping that someone didn't catch me or trace my internet crime. I seem to be safe now. I really didn't steal anything...no credit cards, software, nor did I harm anybody. But I've learned my lesson.
I've ONCE driven tipsy. I woke up the next morning in a horrifying state of panic.
i have about thirty crushes right now, and it drives me absolutely crazy. crushes are like the beer goggles of emotion. but if you drive with beer goggles, the light is always green and then, you wake up in the hospital with a hangover, a black eye, and not to mention whatever happened to get you there in the first place.
IF A GIRL HAS A FIRM HANDSHAKE, I THINK SHE MUST GIVE A GOOD HAND JOB.
THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN A FIRM HANDJOB.
and so it begins.
the "nothing worse than a firm handjob" joke is possibly a bit uncalled for and abuses the purpose of this page....BUT... lets not jump down people's throats or turn our noses up too high here. this is a CONFESSIONAL page. and lust is definatly something worth confessing. wether it is described in proper terms like "impure thoughts" or crude slang like "handjobs."
in fact, i think commenting on ANY anonymous confession is pretty innapropriate, good or bad.
however, the crap above is not a confession. there's a reason behind this thread. and a certain sense of respect should be taken into account when posting anything in here. this is pretty obvious. the above is blatantly in violation of that, and deserves to be deleted... i wouldn't doubt it was some fluke, one-time poster or somebody who will never check this page again.
I'm sorry if people felt it was inappropriate for me to comment on the anonymous confession, and to be honest I thought three or four times before I posted, specifically because I don't want to be jumping on people for the things they say here. Especially for people posting anonymously about personal things. Maybe I shouldn't have. I recognize that.Part of what this entree is supposedly for is confessing things that are on your mind that you want to talk about or tell someone about, but can't because of the personal nature of it. Maybe the above comment falls into that category. I can't speak for the person who wrote it.
But if there is going to be an AnonymousPoster account, there has to be some accountability (ha ha) as to what people use it for, because if AnonymousPoster degrades into conversations about what makes a good handjob, I'm going to pull the account. That's not what this bbs is for, and there are a zillion other bulletin boards on the internet that you can find that discussion on.
I feel that I must interject on behalf of the entree that I created here. To agree with ulysees00, I did not create this entree to belittle people's posts, or breed frustration. This entree is essentially at service to those wishing to get something off their chest. Even benign questions or comments may not be appropriate, as they may never be answered. Some AnonymousPoster may wish to have a discussion, but most will confess quickly and leave before they give so much away that you recognize who they are.I too would like to ask questions and make jokes about the posts here, but we may be talking about something very personal to someone. These may be touchy subjects, and should be handled with care and respect. The person you harass here could be your best friend for all you know, and they may hold a grudge. Both Pedro and I knew there'd be risks to creating such an entree, but if used properly we could have a really useful message board for those of us who have nowhere else to turn.
i wasnt calling you an asshole directly. i apologize for my choice of words. you are someone i totally respect and i cherish this place on the internet that you have created, and i never meant to come off sounding that way.so i will say "i am very sorry" and not try and re-make a point about this page, when i think ive already done so accuratley.
I don't see what the big deal is, maybe he really does hate firm hand jobs...and this is something he could never confess away from here, you know what I'm saying? I think we can all handle reading those words, and dismissing them quietly if we want, or offering advice, if we feel that way also....
Yeah -- g, I knew that at heart, so no harm done.instantcofi: you're right too -- but it definitely seemed at the time to be less about "confessing somethign" and more about saying something outrageous that one could get away with just because it's anonymous.
but I did mean what I said about other places being appropriate venues for certain kinds of conversations. I mean, I want people to confess whatever they want to confess here -- and I realize that sex and sexuality are one of the more secretive and difficult things to talk about publicly (and I think that's one reason why the AnonymousPoster thing is important) -- but I don't want this entree, or the diner, to just become yet another voyeuristic place on the internet, where it becomes sort of locker room talk but with a kind of false credibility because it's just "confession," when in reality it's just people "talking dirty" because it's fun. Does that make sense?
I want people to be free to say whatever they truly want to "get off their chest" -- but I won't let the diner turn into a crapfest.
SO I'm sorry that I made or started the comments... but please, treat this account with the utmost respect.
I confess that I forgot my goddamned password.Pedro: If you could email Fook's password to gfook***@aol.com, Id be greatly appreciative.
I also confess that I am extremely, extremely absentminded about some things, but can keep trivial, stupid things in my memory for long periods of time. Passwords are unfortunately not stupid. I confess to forgetting my passwords to: online bank account, online car payment place account, several BBS accounts, bmg music account, and probably others.
I only post about half of what I type here. The delete key usually gets the best of me.
I often type a big screed, and then just hit "next" instead of "post."This happens often.
me too! And darn is it annoying.
but i do ofen type about 2x as much as i actually post. but, trust me, the final version is better. its usually syntax or cohesion that prompts me to rewrite. i don't hide much from you people.
Actually I mean I delete what I type on purpose before I hit preview or post. I never actually noticed the post button until now.
If you hit the "next" button (or even skip to another site), and you use the browser's back button to return to the page where you have been writing, the text is usually still there. I don't know if this is part of the autocompletion of forms feature or if it is simply sitting in the browser cache. Works with Mozillur.
the best thing, or the part I like most about being single, is that fact that nobody will ever know if I did a bad job wiping my ass.
I miss being able to walk around the apartment naked now that I have a roommate (No disrespect to anyone, I'm just warming myself up for later confession stuff)
no matter how funny i think it is, i swear that i'll try my best, to do my duty, to God and my country and to never make an ``inner thigh tickler'' joke, to a girl, even when i'm drunk
...and I realized that the actual amount of items that I would feel comfortable confessing here on the Diner (with it's limited anonymity) is actually small, compared to the number of things I would either confess here publicly or the number of things I would not confess here at all (unless perhaps there truly was anonymity). I worry that if I write something as AnonymousPoster, people will just be able to tell my "voice" from my writing style.So here's a public confession that most of you probably already know. I'm a whiner and a critic and I rip on things too much. Shocking, isn't it?
I think everyone reads what I write as I talk, I worry about that factor also...
Pedro, I agree that the ratio of things I'd confess in general as opposed to what I might confess here is rather small...not that I have any deep dark secret, but I tutored freshman/sophomore NPU students in composition courses at North Park, and we were taught to recognize the "Writer's Voice." The point of this being to know if someone had just copied an entire paper off the Internet or whatever. Which is to say, I have not been able to identify a single person's confession, nor have I tried, and I'd still feel comfortable posting here if I did have something to get off my chest. But at the moment, I can't think of anything.
The youth group at my church had a suprise birthday party for me tonight. I acted surprised, but I wasn't. I saw the cake and kids passing the card before. They asked if I was surprised and I flat out lied to them and said I was. They are nice kids, but kids are bad at surprises.
cause i have this thing called an anger management problem, i just don't know how to rid myself of anger anymore, all i wanted to do was make a chart from a spreadsheet and it just wouldn't let me, goddamn, so, anyway, i have and anger management problem, something that my dad has and i had always told myself that i wouldn't, but i do, and now more glass has been broken in my apartment this year than in "the war of the roses", i reiterate, goddamn
Seriously, like stuff like that is really hard to deal with by yourself, and alotta times it comes out through acting unlike yourself or drug or alchohol abuse... there's no shame in sitting down with a counselor or someone, and just getting it out there and trying to find strategies or whatever. We love you, Tom.
I've seen anger ruin lives more than once. Please get help for this, it's a much bigger problem than most people realize. And i echo pedro: we love you, tom
As I mentioned before, people who will listen and provide an objective point of view are indispensable. They can be friends or colleagues or someone who does it for a living, but unless you have reduced your interaction with the world to the point where nothing will ever bother you then a listening ear is a prerequisite if you don't want your head to explode.
I feel bad for using the term "savage" in my diary entry. I knwo its not nice to use racial terms like that, and even more so make you guys look at them. My bad.
is less filling than most light beers.
between showing up for work drunk, and showing up for work when "you're so goddamned tired".
I hate my parents today! Nasty, dark hate swimming in my body unmercifully.
I am deliberately skipping my homework tonight. It's for a class that I should have tested out of, except that the school doesn't allow testing out of this class. There is nothing for me to learn by doing this assignment except for the entourage of details that necessarily comes along for a ride with the real objectives.
I cannot stand one of the customers here, but at the same time love that same customer to no end.
homework: that sucks. Although I think a lot of people here probably have had a similar feeling before... but that moment when your will to be a good student is broken by the lameness of an assignment is no fun.
I'm not saying that you're not allowed to think it or say it, but now in my self-centered universe I am certain that you hate me.
It's clear that it was dogmanphil and he's just expressing the frustrations about being in the band with a prima donna lead singer artiste.SO I wouldn't worry about it.
i read something recently that made me weep and i can't talk about it to anyone. i was doing some extra history reading and picked a book about a war that was not too long ago (within the last couple hundred years) and one that doesn't get much attention. the two sides don't matter too much but it was one of those conflicts where one side felt justified in being cruel to the other. the scene that touched me was the biography of a six year old boy. when the enemy came near to their farm his mother told him and his four year old sister to go and hide. when the sounds had passed the two of them went back to find their mother as they were very hungry. he found his mother lying dead. his sister didn't understand and thought she was in a deep sleep. they headed away to look for their father but as they were leaving their two year old sister appeared looking for her mom. the boy knew that he would never be able to find their father if the baby came too so the two older children hurried away and left her there. they couldn't find their father and so hid for the night. next morning the four year old girl wanted to go back to her mom because she thought she might have woken up. they walked back and found the baby, weak and hungry, lying on its mother's corpse hugging her. the two older children went away again to look for food and their father. they were not successful and were away for another night. the four year old was so hopeful that their mother might be awake by now that even the boy started to believe it but when they came back the next day their baby sister was still lying with their mother and she too was dead.i can't rid my mind of that image and i dont think it would be right for me to forget it anyway. this isn't just a story. this really happened and it was just a sideline in a war that most people will have never heard of. i would do anything to stop that from happening to have a baby girl's life ended before it had hardly started and ended in such a cruel manner. it is just so senseless. i am so depressed to feel that human beings can do things that result in this.
i get frustrated easily. i try to be zen about stuff, but sometimes i let things get to me. driving is one instance where this occurs. i mean, ultimately, i just flick somebody off and swear at them and keep driving. but i thinks that's too much. and one time i actually pulled over behind a cabbie that got pissed at me and threw his beverage at my car in traffic. i got out, intending violence if it came to that. i was very very pissed off. ultimately, i ended up spitting in the guy's cab window and kicking it until he drove away. i feel horrible for that. there's no zen in kicking a cab.
i also get frustrated with people regarding indecision. i'm certainly not the most decisive person in the world. but i get frustrated when plans sort of fade and die away because nobody can come up with something to do. i'm sure many of you know the situation i'm talking about. back in the day in George's (and still to this day) there was a constant problem of people being willing to go do something as a group, but nobody could come up with anything cool enough for everyone to agree on. and we would sit around for hours trying to figure stuff out to do. half the time we ended up going our separate ways in smaller packs to do different things. or we all just went home because we just spent 3 hours (or more!) not coming up with anything to do. this frustrates me. i was reminded of this frustration this evening when all my plans fell through. i came home from band practice at 5, intending to shower, make a couple quick calls, and head into the city, ready for whatever. it seemed like i was going to have more than enough attractive options for the evening. a girl from the Fire Theft board was coming into chicago, and we were going to possibly meet for coffee or beer or whatever. erik was running errands, but we were going to possibly meet up at some point and do whatever. i had talked to anna yesterday, and she was going to be free. and i figured liz might be free as well, after work. these were all options i had confirmed previous to today, not to mention the usual unconfirmed crew i tend to run into in tha hood (many of you fall into this category in this instance). anyway, i figured something would be going on. and i didn't go out last night, so i was itching to get out for a while.
what ended up happening was this:
i got home at 5, and my dad asked me if i was ready to help him with some lawn care stuff now that i was home. i guess i had made a vague promise when he woke me about 25 minutes before i was going to get up to go to band practice. when he woke me, he asked me if i could go to the store with my mom and help her out there. i said i had band practice, but i could go when i got back. well, apparently this meant i had volunteered to help later when i got home. so i get home, and he asks me to help, and i'm like 'dude. i'm going out. i had no idea you needed my help. i guess i can do something to help, but i don't really have the time.' he tells me a few things he needs done, and i tell him i'm going to make some phone calls first. i go inside, put my guitar and amp down, and start making calls. first call to erik. he's got a few things he's doing, including hanging out at DaveC's place. i tell him what my situation is, and that i might be able to swing by there. then i call jazzmin from TFT board. turns out she wasn't coming up here after all. ok, that leaves me more options (doesn't seem that way). i call erik back and tell him i will call DaveC's when i am able to leave. then i call anna and she's going to watch big lebowski. cool, i will call when im leaving. i go help with the yard for about 2 HOURS. when im done, i go inside and eat some pizza for dinner. it's now 8pm, and plans are going to have to be definite now before i hit town. i shower, then i call up E and he says to call his crib when i get in. ok. i call anna, and people are going to see the matrix2 (which i already saw, and don't want to pay for again). they don't know when the showtime is. im supposed to call when i get in the city, except that if they're already in the show, her phone will be off. well, i'm not doing that. i call liz. no answer. this leads me to believe that i am going to have NO PLANS and therefore no reason to head into town. i call back the E and let him know (he still had errands to do, and if i came in i would end up just driving around with him in his car and then driving back home. not worth it to leave my house at 9pm to do that). i tried liz again and she was just going home and showering and going to bed.
my frustration comes in this situation because of so many things. the indecision, the fact that i got stuck helping my dad when he sprang this on me out of nowhere which delayed my departure by about 2.5 hours, the fact that i live an hour from all my friends and always have to drive up there to do anything social (i suppose i could get new friends but that's absurd), and the overall fact that i stayed home ultimately on a night i was planning on getting out of my house. i know it's not anybody's fault. and i'm certainly not blaming anybody. i guess i just wanted to confess my frustration. and express that i think it's a downfall that i get frustrated so easily.
i'm game for a good hangout most of the time.
i'm at easyinternetcafe in london, where the backspace doesn't work really well. I threw up on the plane, horrendously too, and some guy got a little to impatient waiting for me and started pounding on the door so i was just like "fuck you" and left so if he wants to take a piss standing in a puddle of my vomit, i'm cool with it.stayed a few nights in edinburgh, did a bit of drinking at the bar where a bit from trainspotting was filmed and i saw some other coolstuff there that i can't be bothered to speak of.
I've seen enough castles for all of you.
the choir has had amazingly good luck showing up at eight hundred year old cathedrals and being like "can we sing" and they being like "shure" and so we get fifteen minutes in the most beautiful place in the world, truly amazing.
they don't have ethernet in the hotel rooms here, god dammit. it's a dollar seventy to the pound. and most beers are about two and a half pounds. but it's okay becauseyou rarely have to tip.
ciao
I detest one of my siblings so much that I can't believe we belong to the same family
I didn't remember writing that. OK that's a harsher sentiment than I would use, but I think we all find ourselves disgusted with the actions of others sometimes, and when that person is family it's easy to blow it out of proportion because it reflects you too, to some degree.
are cool.I don't like pain... but scabs are cool.
I kinda like some pain... mostly the soreness from work or excersise, but there are some other situations where I don't mind it.
I don't bruise. Today I woke up with a "darker" thumb after catching a frisbee incorrectly a lot yesterday. This mild bruise (that is already fading to nothing) made me smile.I don't like scabs at all... I tend to pick at them too much. However I kinda think scars are kinda cool.
which is probably one of the reasons I have so many scars.
i tried being a good roomate to neoacerbitas all year, but i know i was a really bead roomate in the way i moved out- i left too much cleaning for him and some of my stuff behind. this has been done to me before and i hated it. i'm sorry tom.
for a brief second i thought i should do this anonymously. but its no big deal...
i wish i had more passion. i try, i really do. and i probably have more than anybody can tell. but i always wish i had more. maybe i'm just not expressing it in the right way. i don't know.
i wish i had less passion. this seems to get me all mixed up and out of whack. ask ulysses00. when i love, i love with more than 100% of my heart, it sounds impossible, but yes, it is.,/b>
i understand that. and i love with all my heart as well. ask anybody here. i guess i just don't know how to show it, sometimes. and my passion extends to other areas of my life. i feel like i've spent years taming myself, and now i am harmless.
Recently, I decided to quit masturbating.
passion is a curse and it is a gift. just be careful in which ways you devote it.that's what i've learned the past few years.
I was present to a long and very interesting conversation between a number of guys on the third floor of burgh hall a number of years ago, in the summer, on the topic of the pros and cons of the cessation of masturbation...i'm sure nobody wants the details, and yeah, shutup tom.
Although I am probably 10-20 years too young to be worried, i have lately become very concerned that i have a dangerously unhealthy prostate. I am ignorant as to wether I have any good cause for alarm and if so what to do about it.
I get confused about love and stuff, and then I make awful decisions, either out of haste or trying to hurt someone. I don't even know.
All I want to do is sit around and eat Jimmy John's subs and large Pizzas...oh yeah, and watch a lot of movies and some TV....video games too. I want to quit caring about my appearance and stop worrying about having neatly pressed and clean clothes for work. I want to live like this for an entire week and not feel responsibility. I want to be mindless. Going to the gym? Hah. Not me man, I'm busy ordering food. Back off. I hope someone relates with me on this. Everyone on this planet should be entitled to a week like that.
that's probably where i'd be. Jimmy Johns rules.
I'm a Quizno's fan, but then they don't deliver...Of course nothing beats a deep dish sausage, spinach, and garlic from Giordano's.
potbelly sandwich works
they're good too, but I'm in love with the tuna from quizno's with black olives and lots of banana peppers on it, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
makes my mouth do the happy dance.and for pizza, you can't beat suparossa's pepperoni & garlic.
rules too. i just like sandwiches.
I identify with this. Especially because you have a kid, I'm sure you want to just take a vacation from life sometimes.I admit that this feeling overwhelms me as well at times. I just get tired of being responsible and having all these things in life that constantly need attended to. However, I have noticed that when I am lazy/idle/whatever you want to call it for an extended period of time, I get really restless and feel sort of depressed and aimless. So I guess work really is both a blessing and a curse. So yeah, I confess.
If I am lazy for more than 4 days I get very restless...borderline depressed. This occurred last Christmas break. Doing nothing drove me crazy. The same goes for when I do have my time alone at home. I once spent a week without my son and girlfriend and it was real tough stretch of days for me. You have tons of things you can do alone - but you are never completely at ease with yourself for some reason. I think I would be happiest with a solid 3.5 days in solitude...then it would be back to business for me. In fact, those 3.5 days will come during early July for me.Speaking of Jimmy John's...I love them. Kind of pricey...still worth it. They have the best bread, but they should take a lesson from Subway and put a little more meat on their sandwiches. Funny story about Quizno's...we got one last year and it was real hot for about two weeks. Now, it's about to go out of business. The toasted bread seems be more soggy then anything else. I have never ate at another Quizno's besides that one...but I'm sure that they have to be a little better than the one we got.
they blow so bad. the bread at subway is always stale, and they DON'T put enough meat on the sandwiches like they used to.
If you're in the NPU area, don't go to Subway, go to the old Hershey's place, nee Baskin-Robbins, now "Angie's Famous Subs." Her subs are great and cheap, too. Really!
I think I like it more than portbelly's, but that's also partly because they make bigger subs, and I'm a big guy. However, they both put tons more ingredients on their subs than subway or jimmy john's, if it's a situation where I have to decide between potbelly's or quizno's then I'm ending up happy either way.
I'm with you. Calgon, take me away. I don't think I've had a 'day off' since Jay and I went to vegas, sans Anna, a year or so ago.
to whoever posted about this, PLEASE get it checked out by a doctor if you think there might be a problem. i have run into prostate cancer in my family and it is not something to screw around with. And it can strike at any time, even if you're "too young to be worried about it." I know the exam's a bitch, but your life is more important.Thanks.
I admit it, I am jealous of people who can tan. I know it is bad for you, and years from now I will
That posted before I meant it to. Anyway, I know years from now I will be happy because I will not have damaged skin and wrinkles and all that, but still. Yesterday, at Great America, I saw all these people walking around with glowing bronzed skin and felt the unfairness of it all. For just once in my life I would like to have a nice tan. I burn, then it fades away and leaves more freckles and I'm back to square one. So I try not to burn. Denver is very high-altitude and thus has stronger UV rays than most places, and my father has instilled an almost fanatical mentality regarding suncreen in me, even if you're just going to be outside for a short period.One might argue that this is genetics, but my twin sister tans like crazy. She gets so dark that people start speaking to her in Spanish, just assuming she is Latina. It looks great. Yesterday, Hernando and I are slathering on the 30 proof sunblock while Sarah looks more and more like a sun goddess with each passing hour. Not fair.
you have the pre-raphaelite thing going, and that is much more beautiful and romantic, trust me.
I am sunburnt right now....it is not fun. For about a year now, I've been wanting to save up my money and go someplace warm and tropical. Now, I'm retracting it because a nasty sunburn ruins everything. I'm thinking more along the lines of Nova Scotia now!
I have to fight the urge to google for brad pitt's hair.... (I don't think I'm alone)
We don't score that high for Brad Pitt's Hair. I didn't hit it until page six of the results.
We've mentioned it a few more times now, so maybe we'll be moving up that shining google ladder towards infamy.
Brad Pitt's Hair!
Brad Pitt's Hair!
Brad Pitt's Hair!
(One can only hope ;)
...is for people to link from their homepages to the BBS talking about "brad pitt's hair" -- that would really help us out.
The status is that Rob Levin should get a life in Brad Pitt's Hair.Meme collusion rules!
i have no homepage to speak of. how do i go about making one? is it worth it? what's the point in _ME_ having a homepage?
No quick explanation, unfortunately... sometime though, if you want a lesson in how to do a homepage, you can come over to my place for dinner, and I'll teach you.
ok. that would be lovely. then could we play Catan?
I think you guys might need to play football or something after an evening like that, just to make up for all the nerdocity.Sorry I had to make some sort of comment about that.
at least thats my opinion. i can understand their draw in theory, but... they do nothing for me.
are better spent in bed crying
I feel foolish. I've been taking voice lessons for two months now. Someone in my church gave me eight for free as a Christmas present because she knew I liked to sing and because she has taken them for four years herself and loves them, etc. I don't think she meant that I needed voice lessons, but that she thought I'd like them. Anyway, I agreed to take them because I couldn't come up with a good reason not to, though I felt like I didn't want them/need them and that they would sort of be superflous. It is hard to explain, but I really really didn't want them...
However, after the first one where I was scard to death, I've enjoyed them immensely. It is really fun to do something that is completely focused on me for 45 minutes a week, though I still don't see them having any practical purpose. BUT, they are hard and my voice teacher (who is nice and fun-loving and in no way stupid or evil) keeps saying truthful things that hurt my pride. Calling me a beginning singer, for example, when I sang in choirs most of my life. She also says that I have all sorts of bad singing habits... So, that is confession number one- my feelings are hurt because my voice teacher doesn't coddle or compliment me...
Confession number 2: I have to be in a voice recital on Saturday and I really don't want to be in it because it is for all of her students, from 8-80 years old. I am terrified I will look and/or feel stupid in front of small children and teenagers (many of whom I know).
I also think it's really cool that you're doing that recital. Here's something where it doesn't matter whether you're 8, 80, a schoolteacher or a punky kid -- everyone's on equal ground... in front of everyone else. I think you should be able to take pride in doing that, and take pride in the fact that you're not too proud to do it (hah).
I can see how being extremely blunt and non-positive in offering one's objective observations could be kinda uncomfortable, but it seems like this teacher is a nice lady, and the coddling or complimenting probably wouldn't do the voice box any good.
I am currently being treated in a very condescending and straightforward manner by my new boss, and Im loving every minute of it. If you allow bad habits/practices/procedures to occur in a pupil, then that pupil will assume that these habits, etc., aren't only passable, but are darned fine.
Doing something that you think you're better than average at doing can sorta lead to a case of tunnel vision, where it's impossible to both see faults and look for ways to improve without having someone with another (trained) viewpoint. And that's what your teacher is, and that's something to be thankful of.
Last week, i woke up late for my 5am shift at work. I got dressed in a tremendous hurry and got there about 10 minutes late. I went through the majority of the morning feeling somewhat uncomfortable with my clothing. it was not until about 11am that i discovered that i had my boxers on inside out and backwards. I felt pretty dumb.
or pretty numb?
and I did type puny first and realized my mistake!
i rented and watched most of jackass, the movie. i even laughed.
I feel bad. As a girl, I feel I am supposed to gush and get teary-eyed when I hear about wedding proposals and the like, but I don't. In fact, when a friend or acquaintance rushes forward to show me a sparkling diamond- all I want to do is get out of there as quick as possible. This is not a dis on Cinn in anyway- I enjoyed reading your story. But, after my sincere "congratulations" I have nothing else to offer.
I also am not overly fond of babies. Again, I offer a congrats and am supportive of people's desire for children (I am so happy yours is going home Dex!), but, after the initial 5 seconds of being with a baby, I've had enough. (I've often thought I would be more certain about whether or not I want my own kids if they came a little older...)
i feel the exact same way. i'm happy for friends who have made the decision to get married and who are happy and excited about it all. in other words, i get why they are excited and giddy, i just don't necessarily get the same thrill talking about weddings and babies. [but i'm always glad to share the happiness of friends]while on one hand i know i shouldn't feel guilty about this reaction, i sort of do. mostly because weddings and births are supposed to be the most exciting moments of life and i'm just sitting in a corner shrugging my shoulders.
i totally understand; in fact, before i met hernando, i really did always say that i never wanted to get married, and i meant it. not because i am opposed to marriage in the least, i just didn't think i'd ever want to do it. i think when you're with the right person (at least i found this true in my case), i changed my mind.
I was the same way until I met Jay and had my own children. I think as Cinn says, it changes. And I don't like to hear everyone's proposal story (though I can convincingly approve of them when I do hear them). But ... the full circle thing with the bear and the heart... dude that was cool Cinn :) I'm guilty of the babies thing though - all babies are exciting to me. However, lots of my friends are childless by choice, and that's cool too. They don't necessarily like to be around my kids when they're babies - they never hold them or gush over them, which is fine by me.In any case, it doesn't make you unfeminine, any more than a guy who likes to hear wedding stories and about babies is effeminate, you know?
I was sitting in church today holding a fairly life-like baby doll (long story short- it was the baby Jesus for the christmas play). Anyway, the doll's lying across my lap and I'm holding it's perfect little plastic feet in my hands, and the thought suddenly pops into my head, "I want a baby." Not now, not any time immediately, but someday. And I was petrified because never in my life have I ever once thought that I'd like a baby. Pets, definately. Older children, occassionally. But, a baby? Yikes....
No one is ever allowed to tell my mother this.
i just faxed her
God made women that way Blvd so we'd continue the species ;)
The same thing happened to me earlier this year, blvd, when my pregnant friend let me feel her moving belly. Talk about mind-blowing.
I am THE biggest sucker for Adult Contemporary music. With the exception of Michael Bolton and Celine Dion. They can go to waste.
I've spent nearly a week without my girlfriend and I have not missed her one bit. I have no desire to see her for maybe another month or so, but will see her Sunday when my vacation ends. I feel terrible about this.Some of you may know my situation. Some don't. I'll try to fill you in. My girlfriend and I have been dating since 1999. Our relationship was very good until October 2001, when things got rocky between us and we were about to break things off around the end of November 2001. As fate would have it, she announced that she was pregnant with my child in December 2001.
We pondered all the options: Abortion? Adoption? Go through with the birth and not get married? Get married before the baby was born? In April 2002, my son was born, and having him was the right thing given the circumstances. The thought of getting abortion makes me sick to my stomach and I hate myself for even briefly considering that as a way out(I hope I am not offending anyone at this point.). I love this kid, and he's changed my life tremendously...(this can't be described in a post). I want to say I've been a good father...but I'm trying to be the best.
To this day, July 2004, the three of us are all together, but my girlfriend and I are still not married. I've got to be honest, I don't want to marry this girl. I see her virtually everyday of my life and my false front has become part of my personality. I have no desire to be romantic with this person, to do special things for her, etc. We are a couple, but we've slept in the same bed maybe only 15-20 times in the past three years. I feel totally trapped. My only purpose seems to be taking care of the bills, getting food on the table, making sure we have quarters to do laundry...and nothing more.
I want to break things off, but in the process I'll break a lot hearts (including my own), and create much trouble. I won't get to see my own son as much as I want to, I'll have child support payments to make, and I will have this "deadbeat dad" stigma to fight from those less understanding.
Even if we were to break things off, I have no desire to see anyone else long term. I've thought about dating people post break-up...but the dating game seems just that, a game. A game in which I've lost/failed miserably each time I've played. Why go back to a method that hasn't worked in my favor? Plus, I'm carrying too much baggage for any girl to be seriously interest in me. How many girls actually dig a 25-year old single father? I feel like I'm damaged goods, and I feel like a very undesirable partner to the opposite sex. I'd feel sorry for any girl that would have the misfortune of having me ask them out.
All this stuff has really gotten me down. I'm envious when I see young happy couples together...it's like a state I'll never be in. I get mad when I start dwelling on my past experiences when things aren't going well right NOW. I hate seeing myself in photos...I hate that person looking back. Most of all, I'm saddened by the fact that my very first son has to go through this...when he hasn't done a thing wrong.
Your honesty in this cafe is tremendous. I hope that the comments you receive back are truly helpful for you. It's in that hope that I offer the following: Have you considered counseling? Couples counseling could be helpful too but certainly counseling for yourself could help you get back on track in the shortrun. It's significant that you don't want to see other people right now. That takes a great deal of complication out of the situation. It's certainly possible that your girlfriend and you aren't a good match, but it's also possible that you are and that you've just drifted apart. You seem to have a great deal of concern for your son and if your girlfriend does too, than you have that in common. Lots of couples struggle with the loss of romance after children enter the picture, and lots of them regain it. Or they at least come to a better appreciation for each other after probing areas of the relationship with the help of a third party (hence the counseling). I'm not saying that you should stay together "no matter what", but since you do seem concerned about the impact on your son, and there do seem to be other issues circling the perimeter, I think you should look into some deeper analysis before making any life-altering decisions. I hope this helps and I really do wish you the best no matter what path you take.
"How many girls actually dig a 25-year old single father?"I've dated a 25-year old mom. I have several friends that fit into the 25-35 single parent profile. It makes things more difficult, but not impossible. I also know a few under 30 divorced folks and a 42 year old grandmother (she and her boyfriend played ultimate frisbee with us last night). Coney I don't know you, but you seem a decent person and the world is a big place full of far more messed up folks. Maybe you need to decide what's worse, sticking with it or the unknown of trying something new.
I'm afraid that I'm too much of a coward to say anything to my girlfriend...and sadly, by nature, I'll take my inner conflicts over my outer conflicts (conflicts with others). I'm more worried about hurting others and coming off as a selfish brat. This would easier, so much easier, if their wasn't a child involved. No way around it, I'm the bad the guy.And to make matters worse NOW....I HAVE been obsessing about two other girls for the past week or so that I'd like to meet have coffee with (but have nothing long term/serious). My curiosity will eventually get the best of me...
RE your lack of feeling towards your girltry. try very hard to make it work. be the guy you wish you could be. be romantic. be loving. be caring and affectionate. sometimes, even when you don't feel like it, you have to do those things first. and then after a while you begin to get the feeling again. it's worth a try.
coney... we haven't chatted in a while. but i totally feel for you, and agree with baggins.i'm going on only 7 months in a relationship, and while there are no living arrangments or children to complicate things, i feel the occasional boredom or blah, or even uninterest, even though i know i am in a good relationship, with real love at the center.
when i do feel that way, i plan the stupidest romatic shit ever, ( its easier than you'd think.) even if, as you stated, you have no attraction to her any longer, just do it. but her some naughty underwear, leave a flower on her windshield, decide next sunday is going to be "MOTHER'S DAY IN AUGUST," whatever. even if these ridiculous suggestions make your skin crawl, try one. because the reaction you get from her might spark something inside you. you could write it off as stupid pride, or enjoying flattery, but it might get the ol' gears moving again.
i also agree with chester. because of the duration of your relationship, counseling (from a carefully selected third party) can be very beneficial. even if it still ends up in you two separating, it will be done the best way possible (the way in which you aren't "the bad guy no matter what.")
you mentioned not even sharing a bed more than a few dozen times in the last year. that says to me that she has got to be feeling something similar to what you are. so, she could be open to it.
i can tell you are a very mature guy coney. before you start flirting with the idea of going to coffee with other women, try flirting with your girlfriend one last time.
jesus i sound like dr. phil.
at least you don't sound like dr. laura.
but I've been sitting on this news for awhile. I'm going to be the cheerleading sponser at Belen High School next year... (You know, it's funny--I started apologizing to my friends for being a cheerleader my senior year of high school and in my self-concious mind I've never stopped apologizing for it...) However, as the facts stand- I didn't volunteer for the job but was strong-armed into it. Also, I mean to do as good a job as possible and hope that they find someone else to do it next year. And, the more promising part, the money that I will make from the position this year ought to pay for all the dental work I need to have done; so while it's an inconvenience having the job, it's at least an opportune one... Ok. So, I've placed myself on the altar for possible (probable?) mocking, but please be nice...
Why should we mock you? Just about everyone was once a part of school club or activity. I think if we didn't have something else to do in High School, most of us would probably gone crazy. Math Club, Football, Science Olympiad, Cheerleading...it's all the same to me.
Because I would mock me... Gently, but I would definately mock me...
Thank you, though.
blvd, i was a cheerleader/dancer from seventh grade through the end of high school and i danced two years on north park's dance team.i know very well, then, how you feel about the whole 'shameful status of cheerleader' thing that exists. you're always half apologetic about having been a cheerleader no matter what the actual experience was. mine was not that of a typical cheerleader, as our high school squad was ridiculously low on school spirit and belief in our teams' winning potential, and similarly high on bad attitude.
strangely, i have a similar sort of confessional approach towards being an actor in l.a. when people here ask me what i do, i either tell them i do 'nothing' or i wait until they pry it out of me and follow it with, 'yeah, i know. not very original.'
Being that you are in L.A. ...who is the rudest and nicest celebrity you've met? Just curious.
i've had sightings, but not many meetings. every celeb i've met has been really nice and just normal. james franco is really kicked back. chris titus was a regular customer at my old starbucks and he's really a lot of fun and his family's great. i served dave grohl a grande mocha and he was nice.if i've met anyone else, i can't think of it. i've seen people in their cars a lot - cameron diaz, tom cruise, brittany snow [from the TV show american dreams].
oh, when i interned in casting at the wb, i met some people. chad michael murray was the biggest idiot. he basically laid himself out over three chairs in our office and talked about how cool he was until they called him in to read. my most exciting meet was long duck dong from sixteen candles. i never think any of the big ones are cool, but it's people like long duck dong, and a.c. slater that i'm like, whoa, neat. i also met marilu henner, and linda hamilton on the same day, and they were both pretty rad.
you should pose this question to mercurymouth. she has way better stories.
no mocking here.you have a great opportunity. someone else in your shoes may see this as a way to relive their glory days. or may just totally fail as a role model for yougn impressionable women. but you are a strong woman, and you can model that to those girls that will be looking up to you. you can encourage them to be strong as well, and not be the 'typical' cheerleader.
you've got a lot of responsibility there, but I think you're a good person for the job...
ulyssess00, i liked that idea about leaving a flower on her windshield... so much that i went ahead and did it. i just got back home from what was probably the shortest visit i've ever made to chicago, even if you count most of the times i had a layover between connecting flights at o'hare. another friend of mine suggested leaving it on or about the mailbox instead of the car, though, which is what i actually ended up doing.
inkblot: a rose without anything else? thats the best.as for celeb. sigthings... see new entree.
I once got flowers on the winshield of my car during college. I never found out who put them there. I didn't think I would be so touched by the gesture. To this day I still wonder who left them there.
let your fiance' cut 4 inches off your hair, even if he is "good" at such things. Time to get the professionals to fix it over the holiday. (This is entirely my fault, I was being a cheapskate and wanted to save the $20. Bad call).
heidi! what did he do to you? hasn't everyone here told you over time to protect your luscious pre-raphaelite locks?? i need photos to determine the damage. come on, hernando...use pretend scissors next time.
Poor H. He got plenty grief over it already from me...I made the call for him to do it. I asked him to, and he cuts his own hair and has cut his mom's hair for years, so I thought what the hey...but this did not turn out so well. It is all uneven and longer on one side than the other...the scissors were old and dull...it is like a reverse mullet--long in the front, short in the back. Live and learn and don't follow my example, people. LL, you can see and assess the damage when soon we shall meet.
i don't know where i'd post this, so i'll post it here.i was driving around today, and had found a cd i hadn't seen or listened to in a long time, and decided to pop it in and see what was on it. it was labeled, so i knew what it was, but couldn't remember what i had put on it. it was a mix disc i made for somebody a long time ago.
i was listenening, and remembering why i put this mix together, and realized that it was probably a very confusing thing for that person to receive from me.
we all know what mix discs are, and why we make them, and what they mean for certain people, etc. well, this was certainly a disc i had made for a girl (she doesn't post on here, but a lot of you know her...) who i was quite interested in. this was well before i met jackie, of course. but i was really into this girl.
problem is, i was such a dork at the time that i never did anything about this crush other than make this mix. we never discussed this then, and certainly not since.
i was listening to this mix, and i was realizing how weird this must have been for her. i mean, some blatantly obvious songs with blatantly obvious meanings.
i just hope that i never hurt this person. i hope that she wasn't really affected by this too much. obviously i am quite happy with the way my life and relationships have turned out. i wouldn't trade them for anything. i just feel kind of bad that i would give this person this thing that, no matter how trite, obviously meant something and then pretty much never follow up, never discuss it, never man up and approach her, whatever.