Page created 9 Mar 2003 by pedro
Most dads I know are famous for certain little comments that they make -- sometimes they're one-timers, sometimes they're as broken in as a well-worn hat. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're pithy... sometimes they're just good solid advice. Do you have any that come to your mind?
I don't mean to exclude moms, but "dad sayings" are a pretty specific thing in my mind. SO if someone wants to make a "mom sayings" entree, that's cool with me. Anyway, I'll start.Every year on our birthdays, my dad always asks us "Well... is the sky any bluer? is the grass any greener?"
He also says, "See y'all Tuesdie!" whenever he goes somewhere. "See Y'all Tuesday" is the punchline to a joke by a southern comedian named Jerry Clower, who would tell funny homespun tales from the south. We used to listen to his records all the time, but I suppose it's probably an acquired taste, especially for a lot of my Yankee friends. Anyway, the story goes that the's at the airport, and he sees this whole family sobbing and hugging this young man as he's going to get on the plane, and he thinks that he must be going off to the service, or at least away to college or something, and then they finally get a hold of themselves and stop crying, they brush themselves off, etc., and the young man picks up his duffel bag and says, "well, see y'all tuesday!" and gets on the plane.
My dad is a lover of anything cliche. So, if we leave a door open-"What, were you born in a barn and raised by a bear?" If we should slam a car door- "It's not a ford." If we try to get his or anyone else's attention with "Hey"- "Hay is for horses."
"It's happy-hour somewhere..."
If we slam a car door, my dad says, "It only swings one way."
This saying was born one Thanksgiving, and my Dad will never escape it. My Dad sometimes feels the need to explain even extremely obvious things. One Thanksgiving we were piling food onto our plates (keep in mind we were teenagers by this point, hardly our first Thanksgiving responsible for selecting and dishing out our own food) and my dad decided to give everyone at the table some helpful plate-management advice, "The big plate is for your hots and the little plate is for your meltables." Now no one in our family can so much as lay their eyes on a salad or desert plate without saying something about how it is for meltables.
This is a great entree. My dad is known by many of my friends as the king of bizarre expressions, and a lot of them have passed down to me and my sister without us always realizing it. Unfortunately, several of them are not fit for the Diner. I think my favorite is "as nervous as a whore in church." Also, in a vein simialr to Smax's comment--"Well, it's 5 o' clock somewhere."Speaking of that, I was at Target this weekend heard a woman calling to her little daughter in the toy aisle. "Jezebel! Je-ZE-bel! Get over here!" Who in the world would name their kid Jezebel?
KMFDM Fans maybe? I'll post some daddy sayings later, can't think of any, but wanted to make a stupid KMFDM reference, I'm a dad at heart, Meagan always tells me I make dumb daddy jokes.
my dad (along with my adorable little brother Jacob, aged 6) are going to be in Chicago from March 15-22, so I'll have lots to post on here after that. It's hard to remember them spur of the moment, but I'll be sure and write the best ones down during that week for this entree.
my dad always used to give us lectures about responsibility, and one of the sayings he used(s) over and over is - "taking charge of the personal pronoun 'I'".
he also describes good meals as having "heaping" and/or "steaming" bowls or plates of something.
he also used to tell me that we had 3 options in life. either i make it, or one of us dies trying.
Whenever we would say to my dad, "[some random story] or something like that" he would respond with "Well, that about covers it!" Meaning, of course that by tacking on "or something like that" you basically reduced the reliability of whatever you were saying to nil.
Every time my wife and I get together with my parents and drink an average bottle of wine, my dad sips it, holds it out at arm's length, and says, "That's not bad. Not bad at all. It's not good, but it's not bad, either." Then he says, "But seriously, they say that a good bottle of wine is one that you like. And you know what? They're right!"
My dad has always been exceptionally offended by course language. Sometime when I was in high school he took to calling music with swearing in it "verbal pornography". Whenever he would hear music being played with 'language' he would say "don't get soft on porn". The older I get, the funnier that gets.
too funny
andronicus, i remember your brother telling me about how he had to hide his RRENT soundtrack from your dad.also, i think i remember my dad telling me a story about some guy in your dad's church who worked in a condom factory so he had all these crazy condoms sitting around his curch office or something... there was a punchline somewhere in there but... oh well...
my dad's sayings aren't rellly coming to me right now... except that he always says about our dog "BUSBY IS THE BEST DOG IN THE WHOLE WORLD... but no, actually, he really is if you think about it." my GRANDFATHER's (RIP) all time best saying always came after he had dozed off while sitting on the sofa or something. after coming to, or someone waking him up and saying "you were sleeping, grandpa," he'd ALWAYS without a doubt say "no, no... i was just resting my eyes." the scary part is... MY dad (his son) has begun to slip into this same routine, completley unintentionally.
If anyone offered my grandpa coffee, he would say, "Good heavens! I don't even smoke!"
thats a good one. my grandpa, years ago, was told he had a nice shirt. it was somebody he didn't care for all that much, and so, in response, he said in a really bratty tone (you'd have to hear it) 'it's not THAT nice...' now we always tell him he has a nice shirt and he always says the same thing. and he gets this great big smile on his face. what a dear man.
An old man named Herman that was a neighbor and closer to me than a lot of family had many great sayings. ulyssess00 reminded me of the one he would say when cought nodding off... "were you sleeping?" "Nope, just checking my eyelids for holes."Herman had many many one liners that I really should have written down. Maybe next time I see my family we can compile them. A few choice ones...
"At my age, when you feel a tap on your shoulder, you look up."
When asked what kind of dog he had... "Alive..."
"I drive a Chevy, goes like a rabbit."
"I wish I was young again so I could try that stuff." He was watching Soul Train.
The list goes on and on.
So my dad says. Also, when something is very nearby, "It's just a hop, skip, and a jump away."Which reminds me--the Hidden Cove is literally a hop, skip, and a jump away from my new place, or a stone's throw away as well. Lemme know if anyone is up for karaoke, anytime.
me and A.W. were talking about going there sometime. karaoke is a blast, sometimes. i'll bet we could get ulysses to go too.
Anyhow, my dad is the most insane of all fathers...He calls puberty poo-ber-tee...He also asks me how my underwear are, all of the time...and If you're ever looking for a good vietnam whore story he's the man to talk to.
instantcofi, I want to hang out with your dad.Mine just called to tell me that the silly tall people that play with balls at my old college just won something called "the national championships." He was surprised that I didn't know. I used to live with the team mascoT. The only thing I liked about the sports at syracuse was that when you went out to parties in the orange costume, drinks were given to you at a rate no human could drink.
we rocked it there last night. they need a better GNFNR selection. Knockin on Heaven's Door is getting old for me, and Live and Let Die just doesn't appeal to me all that much as a karaoke song.
You must not go to the Cove in the future without letting me know!!! I'd love to go there with y'all sometime, though I agree that their selection needs some updating.Sorry to have missed the fun.
it was a spur of the moment thing. the wood was closing, but our party wasn't ending yet. in fact, i still haven't gone to bed. and its almost noon. then again, i woke up at 6pm yesterday. boy was i out of it.
I'm not in the least upset, just bummed to have missed the good times and getting to see you folks. My sorry ass is usually in bed by 11 on weeknights, so I probably wouldn't have made it anyway.My night was quiet. Hernando and I made a pizza and went to watch "Amadeus," but my sister had taken it back to her boyfriend's. I was really looking forward to it and was disappointed. And we don't have any of our DVDs/tapes unpacked yet. So, we ended up watching "Elimidate." What a terrible display of humanity! It makes me feel ashamed to even give it viewer support.
My dad calls it the "Ho-Ho House." I have no idea what that means, but I think it's hysterical.
My dad used to always say, "Is the grass any greener? The sky any bluer?"It's kind of a downer way of looking at birthdays, I guess, but that's Scandinavian Pessimism for you. Anyway, I always liked when he asked me that.
as far as im concerned, the grass *is* a bit greener, and the skies *are* a bit bluer. but then, i have always had a little bit of trouble with colors.
Just answer "Yes".
he always used to ask me "who the hell do you think you are?"looking back, i'm happy that i never answered when he asked that
My dad likes to tell a story about Luther Perkins, Johnny Cash's longtime guitar player who perfected (invented?) the boom-chicka-boom rockabilly/country guitar playing style that is ubiquitious on early Johnny Cash music. When asked why he always plays like that, Luther said:"Some people are lookin' fer it. I found it."
This was the Forgotten Entree of the Day for 5/4/2004.
Ha! That was a good one.